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Brother Helps Brother
By Musicbabe13
Chapter 3
When
Bam woke up the next morning he was still in Jess' room. Jess had somehow managed to get Bam onto a bed.
Bam looked
around to find Jess sitting on a chair, bent over a paper scribbling furiously. Jess had been awake all night watching over
his brother trying to figure out what he was going to do.
No answers were yet forthcoming and Jess felt pretty lost
himself. Finally Jess had turned to writing, lyrics, poems and sometimes just thoughts, it was the only thing he could do
to help sort things out for himself.
Jess chose that moment to glance over and check on his brother. When Jess saw
Bam was awake he let the pen drop out of his hand. The two stared at each other for a few seconds.
Both as a loss of
what to say or do next. Jess slowly got up and walked over to the bed. Sitting on the edge he looked at Bam.
Bam saw
the many emotions play over his brother's face. Too many things passed through Jess' eyes to keep track of.
Bam saw
an expression of pain register there for a split second and he lowered his head in regret. The last thing Bam had wanted to
do was hurt Jess. Jess caught Bam's look of grief and raised Bam's head to meet his gaze.
"It will be okay, Bam. I
promise you it will." Jess told his brother. Bam watched as Jess seemed to decide on something.
"Bam, you have to
tell someone else about this too. You need to get help." Jess began. Bam cut him off.
"No!" Jesse looked startled
at Bam's sudden outburst.
"You can't tell anyone. Everyone will be disappointed in me. I can't...I can't do that.
Please, you have to keep this a secret. It was so hard to tell you. I can't tell anyone else, I can't."
"Bam, you
need help that I can't give you. If that lady hadn't screamed last night, I hate to think what would have happened."
Jess
hated having to remind Ban of what he had tried to do last night but it had to be done. Jess couldn't let Bam try something
like that again. It would kill him to lose his brother.
"Please, Jess. I know what would have happened but I can't
deal with everyone knowing. Please, I'm begging you. I won't ever do something that stupid again, please." Bam pleaded.
Jess
knew it wasn't the right thing to do but he couldn't help giving in to Bam.
"I couldn't deal with losing you and neither
could anyone else. It would devistate Mom and Dad"
Jess told him as he silently swore to himself that if he got the
slightest indication Bam would try this again he would tell someone quicker than anything.
"I know. I do know that,
now." Bam replied.
"Tell me what happened? What made you try...?" Jess trailed off, still not able to say the word.
"I..." Bam couldn't get any further than that. He was still afraid to disappointed his big brother.
"Bam,
tell me." Jess said gently yet firmly.
Bam's eyes welled with tears but he proceeded to tell Jess everything that
had made him try to take his own life.
The incredible stress he felt all day, everyday, the things he saw and heard,
on every radio show and all over the Internet. Jen cheating on him. The homesickness he felt since he was 15 from leaving
his family all the time.
Everything. To the average person he led the perfect life but if you gave anyone his life
they would be begging to trade back at the end of the day. He went through more than anyone thought.
But that wasn't
everything, there was something missing. That something, that piece of him, had been lost and he didn't know how to find it
again.
Jess listened attentively, never realizing it had affected Bam. Jess only offered words of comfort and when
Bam seemed ready to break Jess placed a reassuring arm around his shoulders. That simple gesture of kindness seemed to give
Bam strength.
When Bam finished he felt incredibly drained. All Jess could do to comfort him was pull his little brother
into a hug.
~**~
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