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Needing You
By StillScreaming
Three black roses lay on my empty bed.
It wasn't always so cold and lonely, its your abscence that has made it ache.
But now I also know you arn't ever going
to come back, at least not the way we were before.
As you clearly can see there is a note taped to one of the flowers,
I see you eyes fill with concern, you know just what those haunting letters so messly scribled, folded within in that letter
say.
I wonder what will become of this note, will it be framed?Will it be published? Will it be ripped up and forgotten
about? The pain they will feel when they read those filthy words of sorrow will be nothing to compare to the pain was felt.
You will never know what truly what you have done to me, you never will....
After a few long secounds that seemed
like hours you drag your eyes away from the paper till their staring hauntly into my faded dull eyes. You see me with a gun
to my held up to my head clenched tighly in my shaking hands. With tears screaming down your face you cry out you love me.
More lies...more dirty little lies, I don't belive you, why should I, you had your secound chance, along with your
third and forth too. You've taken my miserey by the hand to many times, and now my own hands are gonna end this torment.
You
tell me my life will eventually get better and i just need to stay strong, that you know that I can manage. How very wrong
you are. Not after what he did...I loved him and he lied to me and now he's gone. So tell me my dear friend how will my life
ever get any better? Now I too have tears racing down my face, taking the reminder of eyeling with them.
I can't handle
is any more. Not the nightmares. Not the reality. But you tell me to give the gun to you.
This isn't how it was suppose
to be. I wasn't suppose to cry and you arn't suppose to love me. You weren't suppose to arrive this soon. Sure as hell you
arn't suppose to try and stop me.
You ask me why I would want to hurt everyone like this. I feel my heart beat and
the blood running to my head as I scream,
"Everyone? Who? My friends? I have none. All I have are fucking liers who
decive me. Therefore who is there to hurt?"
I see you eyes fill up with hurt, and I feel pity upon you, why I don't
know. Your voice cracking as your try and keep your composure so you don't frighten me more because you know I would rather
die then be hurt by love again.
But you still try to convince me that you love me abd you won't be able to live without
me. I know your just trying to get the gun out of my hands and me safetly into your arms.
Fuck it...too late, it won't
work...I have nothing left. I let a sorry slip through my shaking lips as my finger smashes down the trigger.
The
three black roses now bleed and tears mix with the deep red fresh blood.
~**~
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