Oh Darling
By The Original Pippie
Chapter 4
Bam walked into the room and stood quietly in the doorway.
He leaned his head against the doorframe and looked at her.
“Jenn?”
She lied there
curled up in the bed, facing away from him.
“Come on Jenn.” He pleaded. She did not respond. “Look
you know it’s not your fault that we lost the baby.”
She still did not respond, but slid her hand down over he belly. “So you’re not even going
to look at me or anything?”
“What do you mean we lost the baby? You weren’t the one who was carrying it. You weren’t
the one who had it ripped away from you before it even had a chance to fully develop. I’m the one who lost the
baby.”
“Jenn please don’t do this to yourself. This kind of thing happens all the time. You didn’t
do anything wrong.”
“I don’t want to hear it Bam. Just leave me alone.”
He looked away from her, feeling the pain surface to his eyes.
“Fine.” He turned slowly and left the room, closing the door behind him.
He
leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. Not being able to control that falling tears, he hid his face behind his
hands. The pain was too much for him to bear.
Ryan walked up and knelt beside Bam, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Bam looked at him and
wiped some tears away.
“Hey. You know it’s going to be ok, man.”
“I know Ryan. But Jenn…. She’s putting all the blame on her, and she’s pushing me
away and everything. And I don’t know what to do or say to her to make her feel better. I’m trying to be strong
for her during this but it’s so hard.” He sniffed. “It just hurts so much.”
Ryan
changed his position so he would be sitting and leaning his back against the wall. He stuck his legs out in front of him and
looked at Bam, searching for the right words to say. Nothing came to him so he sat there beside Bam and allowed him to cry.
“It’s not fair, Dunn. It’s just not fair. I thought that after my cancer, I wouldn’t
have to go through anything that bad again. How foolish was I to think I could be happy after that?”
“Dude don’t think like that.”
“Why shouldn’t I? Jenn and I just lost our child.” He looked away from him. “And
Jenn’s acting like she’s the only one who has the right to be hurting over this. She acts like how dare I be upset
over it since she’s the only one who had anything to do with the kid during the pregnancy because she was carrying it.
I might as well have been just a sperm donor.”
“No Bam you know that’s not true.”
“I know! But that’s the way she’s treating me.”
“Then why don’t you talk to her about it?’
“She barely even wants to look at me right now. How can I talk to her?”
“Well… just make her talk to you.”
“Dunn I can’t just make her talk to me. Are you trying to help me feel better, or make
me feel worse?”
“Sorry I just don’t know what to say to you.”
“Maybe it’s best that you don’t say anything right now.” Bam put one hand over his
eyes. “Why’d this have to happen? Why to us ?” He continued to cry as Ryan sat there by his side.
The
door cracked open and Jenn stepped out. Bam barely noticed her until she stooped down next to him. He turned his head toward
her, showing her the rings of water just below his eyes.
He blinked and then the water rings rolled down his cheeks. Ryan stood up once Jenn wrapped her arms around
Bam’s neck and shoulders.
“I’ll just leave you two alone.”
“Thanks Ryan.” Jenn answered.
“Bam I’m so sorry. I had no idea how much I was hurting you.” She started to cry as he
put his arms around her. “I guess I have just been too worried about feeling sorry for myself, I didn’t stop to
think of how this would be affecting you.”
“Jenn you should know that we’re in this together. We’re going to get through this together.”
“I know Bam. I’m sorry.”
“But we can’t blame ourselves for this. This wasn’t our fault, ok?”
“I know it wasn’t. But why did we have to lose our baby?”
“I don’t know. That’s just one of those questions that can’t be answered.”
He kissed the side of her face near her neck.
“We have each other now. It’s going to be hard, but we’ll be alright.”
“I sure hope so. It will be hard leaving this hospital, without a baby inside of me. Oh God this hurts
so much.”
“I know it does. But like I said, we have each other.”
He cradled her and
they began to rock back and fourth a little as they shared tears.
~**~
