Chapter 2

Bam found himself in front of his brother's hotel room. He had never been scared to go to Jess for help before, hell they were brothers. Brothers helped each other out, but this was different.

This was no small problem and he knew it. He needed to talk to someone and fast, before it was too late. Finally, he worked up the courage to knock on the door.

"Come in!" Jess' voice called from inside. Bam gulped before opening the door.

"Hey, bro, where were you tonight. You never fly out to see us on tour and then bail on the show. What's...." Jess stopped short when he saw his brother's sullen appearance.

Jess had known Bam was feeling down lately, he had been pushing everyone away from him and it was getting on everyone's nerves but Bam looked terribly sad at that moment.

"Bam, what's wrong? What happened?" Jess asked gently.

Bam could not believe Jess was being so kind after the shit he been putting all his friends through during the last few weeks. Bam had been trying to push everyone away, to make it easier on them, on himself.

"I. . .I. . .I. . ." Bam stuttered. He couldn't take it anymore. He burst into tears, sliding down the wall and onto the floor in a crumpled heap. Jess was at his side almost instantly.

He wasn't sure what was wrong but could tell Bam needed to know he was there with him, for him.

"I'm here. It's going to be okay now. It's all going to be okay." Jess wrapped his arms around Bam which just seemed to make him cry louder and harder into Jess' shoulder.

After a few minutes, Bam's sobs slowly soften to become soft sniffles and whimpers. Bam raised his head to look at Jess and saw his brother's eyes full of concern and worry. But Bam also saw the kindness, the caring and the love that poured out at him.

"I'm sorry." Bam whispered. Jess let go of Bam and looked at him.

"Don't be, you have nothing to be sorry for. Now tell me, what's wrong? What's hurting you?" Jess gently brushed a few stray tears off Bam's face.

"I don't know...it's just...I don't know how to explain it..." Bam mumbled looking down at the floor. Jess raised Bam's head making Bam look him straight in the eye.

"It's okay, Bam. You can tell me." Jess told him. Bam meet his brother' s gaze. "Please, tell me."

"You have to promise me you won't tell anyone." Bam said sounding unsure of himself.

"Okay, I promise." Jess agreed, not knowing he would come to regret that promise. Bam drew a shaky breath before speaking.

"Early...Earlier tonight I was sitting on my balcony...I was going to...going to jump...I was going to let go when this...this lady screamed...that stopped me...I crawled back into my room and...and just sat there...I knew I had to tell someone...it's just everything is...is fucked up...and I don't know what to do...something is missing and I don't know how to fix it...I don't know how to make it work...Jess, I don't know what I'm going to do..." Bam let out a choked sob and lowered his head in shame.

Jess was stunned. Bam, his best friend, his little brother, he had tried to...he was going to... Jesse couldn't even bring himself to think of the word. Things like this couldn't happen to Bam. Cheerful, fun, easy-going, prankster Bam. How could this have happened?

A small sob brought Jess crashing back to reality. Bam's head was still lowered in disgrace.

"You...you probably ha...hate me now..." Bam whimpered between sobs. Jess felt like his heart was being ripped from his body.

"No, Bam. I could never hate you. You're my brother, my best friend in all the ways that count." Jesse lifted Bam's head up to look him in the eyes. "And I truly mean that." Jess told Bam.

That was it for Bam. He let out a sob and fell into Jees' waiting embrace, unable to stop the tears from flowing. Jess rocked the two of them back and forth as he rubbed Bam's back in comfort.

"It's all going to be okay, Bam. Everything's going to be okay, now." Jess repeated over and over again in an effort to soothe his friend. At the same time he was trying to convince himself of that as well.

Finally, Bam's sobs began to quiet. Physically strained and emotionally exhausted he let himself fall asleep, hidden safe in Jess' protective embrace.