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The Voodoo That You Do
By The Original Pippie
Woo dee woo!
Shut up Rake.
Bam’s eyes popped open and he shot up in his bed. He threw
his blanket off of him and his leg jerked.
“What the fuck?”
He scratched the back of his head in
confusion and then his hand came back and then smacked his neck a couple times as if someone forced him to hit himself. He
looked around the room in bewilderment. Bam placed his feet on the floor and stretched before standing up.
Staring
down at the floor, he shook his head, trying to tell himself that everything was his imagination. However, he had a feeling
that the rest of the day was going to be just as weird, if not weirder.
Everyone was downstairs by the time Bam got
down there. Things were going pretty normal for a while, even as they all talked. Bam was in the middle of telling a story
to someone when suddenly his arm flew up into the air. It came back down and then his hand reached over and smacked Ryan across
the face.
“What the hell was that for?” Ryan asked as he rubbed his cheek where Bam hit
“I…I
don’t know. I didn’t mean it, really.”
They all resumed their conversation like nothing happened.
At one point during the conversation, Raab was walking by Bam, to go into the next room. Bam kicked Raab in the back of the
leg right as he passed him. Raab turned around and glared at Bam.
“Bam, what’s your fucking problem?”
“Nothing!
I swear I don’t mean to do these things.”
“Right, right Bam. Next you’ll tell us that someone’s
controlling you, right?”
“I…”
The talking, joking and laughing continued and they witnessed
even more of this weird behavior in Bam. He would make strange, jerky, sudden movements and even make Tourette-like outbursts.
“Bam
are you all right?”
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I just uh…”
Bam reached over towards
Novak, placed his hands on the side of Novak’s face and pulled him in for a wet kiss. The two of them pulled away just
as quickly as the kiss had happened. Everyone else stared at bam in disbelief.
“Dude, you sure you’re
all right?”
“Guys I swear I’m not doing any of this. Something’s controlling me.”
“Yeah
right! You actually expect us to believe that something’s controlling you?”
“You’re acting
crazier than Dico on a daily bases.”
“I… you have to believe me. I have no control of myself. Something
IS controlling me!”
“Maybe you’re right, Bam.” Joked Dico “Jenn recently broke up with
you, maybe she built a little Bam voodoo doll just to torture you.”
Everyone except for Bam began to laugh. Bam
turned away to leave the room, but he pivoted on his heel back towards Dico. His arm reached out and grabbed Dico by the back
of his neck.
“Dude let go!”
“I’m sorry but I…” His arm dropped, letting
Dico go, and then it came up again and smacked Dico repeatedly in the back of the head
Dico pushed Bam away.
“What
the fuck, Bam? You’re insane!”
“I’m not insane! I’m telling you; something is fucking
controlling me!”
The others looked at Bam and saw that he perhaps was telling the truth after all, and then they
looked at Dico.
“Maybe you were right about that voodoo doll thing.” Ryan said with a low voice.
“I…
yeah.” Dico said as he took a step back with an almost ashamed expression toward Bam.
“Sorry Bam.”
“You
guys, what am I supposed to do about this?”
“How are we supposed to know?”
Bam turned away
from them and headed down to the pirate bar. Once he got to the last step he noticed a shadow on the far wall.
“Someone
down here?” He called out toward the shadow
He began to approach the shadow and saw that it went around the corner.
Then he peeked around the corner and saw a girl sitting at a desk writing.
She looked to be about twenty or so, with
short brown hair and grayish-blue eyes that were fixed on the paper which was before her on the desk. She seemed to be hard
at work at what ever it was that she was writing.
“Excuse me?” Bam asked.
“Am I interrupting
something?”
She looked up and was surprised when she saw him.
“Oh! Bam! I didn’t think that
any one knew that I was down here.”
“Who are you, and how did you get into my house?”
“Well,
a lot of people know me as Pippie, and I’m always where ever you are.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I’ve
been writing stories about you for a while now. And every time I’ve written one of my stories I’ve been right
there with you wherever you were.”
“So everything that’s been going on in my life lately, all the
injuries and illnesses, pregnancies, homosexual relationships and confessions of love, insanity… vampirism… all
of that was written by you?”
“Well not all of it. I’m not the only one who’s been writing these
stories. But I’m the one who started it all.”
“So you’re the one I have to thank.” He
said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes.
“So that also means that everything weird that’s been happening
to me today was written by you?” He pointed down to the paper in front of Pippie.
“THAT’S the voodoo
doll!”
“Yeah pretty much.”
“I don’t fucking believe it!”
“I’m
sorry, Bam, but that’s what fanfic writers do. They put their subject’s life in their own hands and do whatever
they want with it.”
“Well cut it out! I can’t take it any more! Did you know that I almost killed
Dunn with my Hummer?”
“Sorry, but I can’t do that. And yes I do know that, I’m the one who
wrote that story, duh.”
“Why can’t you write good things happening in my life for once?”
“What
would be the fun in that?”
Bam shook his head and turned away from Pippie.
“Fine. Continue having
fun writing your stories about me. I guess I can’t stop you.” He started walking away
“That I will.
Oh by the way, do you want to know what happens next in “Life Partner”?”
“Hell no!” He
said as he reached the stairs
“Ok! Your loss!” She looked back at the paper on the desk
“Now…
where was I?”
~**~
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