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Nine Times Wheeling
By Pippie
Part 2
There’s a certain something in the way
You looked at me and said you’d stay
That let me know
that I was out of line
But I didn’t know what else to do
And like a fool I tested you,
By demanding things
of you which weren’t mine
After a while Novak came back downstairs to find Bam sitting dejectedly on
the couch. Bam was in the same position and held the same expression that Novak held and sat in when Bam came home.
Novak
walked over to the couch and took Bam by the hand, gently lifting him up onto his feet. His expression as he looked at Bam
was hardened, yet it still showed traces of tears.
“Bam before I’ll be able to trust you again, even the
slightest bit, we’re going to have to talk about this.”
“Nov I feel really horrible what I did to
you…”
“Bam,” He cut him off “I can tell just by looking at you that you’re only
beginning to feel a little bit of what you’ve put me through.”
“I… I know. But you have to
know that I…”
“Why did you leave like that?” He asked, cutting him off again
“Why?
Well I… I don’t think that I can give you any kind of answer to that that you would accept right now.”
“Well
give me something!”
“I was scared and I wasn’t thinking straight. Then… the thought of my fans
finding out about us being married… well that freaked me out. Before we actually got married, that whole day before
the ceremony, I was trying to think of ways to escape this marriage."
"I didn’t care about how much it was going
to hurt you. All I cared about at that time was making myself feel better. I was going to come back, and I did. I just needed
some time to be on my own. Now I’m more sorry than I ever was in my life. You said I have no idea how hurt you were,
you have no idea how sorry I am.”
“You were scared about what other people would think, and you needed
to be by yourself? That’s why you left? If you were so scared then why didn’t you come to me about it instead
of running away? It never mattered to me what other people thought about us and our relationship.”
“I know,
I know. I was stupid, I was beyond stupid. I should have been more concerned about your feelings and I should have come to
you with my fears and doubts. I should have done all kinds of things that I didn’t do. But that doesn’t matter
now.”
“Then what does matter to you? You said yourself that you didn’t even care about how your running
away would effect me.”
“I didn’t mean it like that!”
“Then how did you mean it?”
And now I feel like such a fool
For making you crawl back to me
But you did it with such love
That you’re
standing far above
“I… Novak please don’t make me feel any worse than I all ready do. Let
me tell you one thing. I didn’t run because I had stopped loving you, Far from that. I still love you and I want to
try to work past all of this.”
“I’ve all ready said that it’s going to take a long time for
me to begin to trust you again.”
“Please try?” Bam looked into Novak’s eyes, trying not to
cry again.
“I’m here now, and I’m not going to leave you again. I promise you I won’t even
think of leaving you again. Please just give me another chance.”
Me and all I did to you
I’m sorry now, what can I do
“Bam I don’t know. You’ve
really hurt me. How do I know that you can keep this promise?”
“You just have to try and trust me. Please?
Don’t make me beg, even though I’ll get down on my knees and beg my ass off right now.”
“Maybe
you should beg. I have to see that you really mean your word, and begging would be a good start.”
“Fine
if that’s what you want me to do, I’ll get down right now.” Bam said as he took to his knees.
“Novak
please, please, please give me another chance. I love you with all of my heart and I couldn’t possibly leave
you again if I tried. I really don’t even deserve you and your heart, I don’t really blame you if you never trusted
me again. But that’s all I ask from you Novak. I beg you, I double dog beg you, please Novak, allow me a chance to prove
to you that you have heart and my soul.”
“I have to admit, that’s some damn good begging, even for
you Margera. I’m especially fond of the ‘double dog beg’ part.”
He stooped down and took Bam’s
clasped hands and gazed into Bam’s still pleading eyes.
“You do look cute when you’re begging like
that. But it’s still going to take us a long time before we’re back to where we once were. I am willing to give
you another chance but as soon as I think you’re going to screw up I’m going to be the one to leave.”
“Ok
I guess that’s fair.”
It’s amazing how time can so softly change your ways
And make you look at things that can’t be seen
Novak
put his arms around Bam and placed his chin on Bam’s shoulder.
“Thank you for coming back Bam. I don’t
know what would become of me if you hadn’t.”
“Thank you Novak.” Bam said as he returned the
hug.
“But don’t you ever make me beg like that again.”
“Don’t give me a reason
to, and I wont.”
“So… so can we work through this?”
“I sure hope so.”
“I
really do love you, you know that?”
“Yeah, yeah. You’ve told me all ready. But just you
coming
in that door again showed it enough.”
“What about you? You still love me, don’t you?”
“I’m
working on it. It’s not going to be easy though.”
“Ok… ok I guess I understand that.”
“Just
don’t ever do this to me again, Bam.”
“I wont. I don’t ever want to experience something like
this again as long as I live.”
“Good.”
So forgive me my dear if I seem preoccupied
If the razor edge of youth filled love is gone
And if in
the end we should go
Both our separate ways
I know the lesson I’ve learned here is worth at all
And
now for the two songs that I put parts into the story: (both written/sung by Mike Nesmith)
Carlisle Wheeling
In a long and involved conversation with myself
I saw a precious thing come
into view
When I poured through the files taken off my mental shelf
I dusted off some memories of you
Then I
thought about the times
When all the world was green
How the phoenix of our love first flapped its silver wings
All
the urgency and passion of each new day as it happened
And how it all mellowed as it grew
I remember the time that
our laughter would explode
And how you would turn to hide your smile
Then the hours of silence while the perfumed candle
glowed
And both of us meandered on for miles
I remember the time I said I really had to go
I remember the tears
that filled your eyes
Then I touched your hand and told you that it really was a lie
And though you never knew I did,
I cried
It’s amazing how time can so softly change your ways
And make you look at things that can’t
be seen
How the years that roll by can start you listening
Not just to what they say, but what they mean
So forgive
me my dear if I seem preoccupied
If the razor edge of youth filled love is gone
But we’re both a little older,
our relationship has grown
Not just in how it’s shaped, but how it’s shown
So forgive me my dear if I seem
preoccupied
If the razor edge of youth filled love is gone
But we’re both a little older and our relationship
has grown
Not just in how it’s shaped, but how it’s shown
Nine Times Blue
There’s a certain something in the way
You looked at me and said you’d
stay
That let me know that I was out of line
But I didn’t know what else to do
And like a fool I tested you,
By
demanding things of you which weren’t mine
And now I feel like such a fool
For making you crawl back to me
But
you did it with such love
That you’re standing far above
Me and all I did to you
I’m sorry now, what
can I do?
I know that never in the world
That I have found me such a girl
Who’s there to pick me up before
I fall
And if in the end we should go
Both our separate ways I know
The lesson I’ve learned here is worth it
all
‘Cause now I feel like such a fool
For making you crawl back to me
But you did it with such love
That
you’re standing far above
Me and all I did to you
I’m sorry now, what can I do?
I know that never
in the world
That I have found me such a girl
Who’s there to pick me up before I fall
And if in the end we
should go
Both our separate ways
I know the lesson I’ve learned here is worth it all
~**~
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