his head down and let his arms, that were still around Novak’s neck, fall down to his sides. The smile that was upon
his lips fizzled away into a scared, unsure, pout.
“Bam what’s wrong?”
“I… I can’t
Bam backed away from him, gazing at him with nervous eyes. He appeared
like a timid little boy standing before a stranger.
“I… I just can’t. I don’t think this is
“Bam you’re not giving it any time.”
"Novak what if… what if…”
He had so many questions that he didn’t know which one to ask first.
“What if, what? What are you
afraid of? Bam just stop worrying about everything, and just relax.”
“Ok. Ok I’m sorry.” He
sat down at the foot of the bed
Novak turned to Bam and sat down next to him on the bed. He placed an arm around his
middle and softly stroked the side of Bam’s arm. Bam looked at him before turning his head down and leaning it on his
“Why does this seem so hard?”
Novak ignored Bam’s question and kissed him on top
of the head. He then placed his hand under Bam’s chin, lifting it gently so Bam would be looking at him. He leaned in
closer and placed his lips on Bam’s.
Bam closed his eyes and reached up with his hand, placing it on the side
of Novak’s face. The kiss grew more intense and Novak’s hands began to wander a little.
He slowly slid
one hand up Bam’s leg, and just before it reached Bam’s inner thigh, Bam quickly slapped it away. Bam pulled away
from Novak and looked at him half appalled.
“What are you doing?!”
Novak held his hands up in front
of him and backed away from Bam.
“Sorry! I was getting carried away.”
please don’t touch me like that.”
“I can kiss you but I can’t touch you?”
at Bam, seeing that he still looked scared in his eyes.
“Ok… ok Bam. We’ll take this real slow.
As slow as you need to take this.”
“You… you’re willing to do that for me?”
of course. I’m trying to help you out. Besides, you mean much more to me than any one I’ve ever slept with.”
you serious?” He asked, almost letting a slight smile escape
“Yeah. But not just because you’re my
best friend and not just because I have had a crush on you.”
He ran his thumb over Bam’s cheek.
I really care about you and if we get to the point of doing anything beyond kissing, I want it to be special. You’re
the only one that I ever felt this way for.”
“I… I don’t know what to say… all this time
I had no idea that you felt this way about me.”
“Well now you do.” He moved forward and kissed Bam
held his head down and smiled. The feeling he experienced before he had entered the room had returned, and he was welcoming
it. This time he knew that it wasn’t his imagination.
This time the feeling didn’t seem weird or make
him nervous as it did when he first felt it. He looked up at Novak and finally realized that he was more than just a friend
trying to help him sort himself out. Bam reached out and wrapped his arms around him, bringing him in tight. He then out his
lips on Novak’s for a slow, tender kiss.
He admitted, then, in his mind that the other kisses he shared with
him were because he felt like he had to kiss him. This kiss was the first real one that he wanted to give him, so he put all
of his feeling into it, a thing he had not done since he was with Jenn.
Now as he was kissing him, he felt comfortable,
and it felt right. It felt more right to him than anything else in his life. Everything since his breakup with Jenn was finally
making sense to him, and he felt that he finally could be happy again.
They pulled slightly apart and nuzzled each
other. Both of them had a broad smile spread across their faces. Bam loosened his grip a little and held his head down. This
time he held his head down because he didn’t want to look into Novak’s eyes.
He knew that if he looked
into his eyes right then, he would get carried away. He wanted to keep control of himself because it was way too soon for
them to be headed in that direction. He was just happy enough knowing that he actually wanted it with him.
Bam said, a little softly
“That good of a kiss, huh?”
“No… well yes… but …”
“That was… I just realized that I’m kissing you, and… and I really like it. I
never thought that I’d say that about Brandon Novak.”
“Hey! What’s wrong
He laughed a little harder.
“I didn’t mean it like
that. I just…”
“No it’s ok. I know what you mean.”
looked up and pressed his nose against Novak’s.
“I guess we can’t go back to being just friends
“No I guess not. To be honest I really don’t want to.”
The two of them
kissed again and sat there for a while, just holding onto each other.