another drink of his beer before setting it on the bathroom counter in front of him. He looked into the mirror and then turned
his gaze away again, not wanting to actually see his reflection.
He sighed as he picked his beer up again and left
the bathroom. Once he got downstairs he headed into the kitchen for a fresh beer and something to eat. He seemed to be drinking
a little more these past few weeks since he and Jenn ended their relationship. Bam heated up some leftover cardboard pizza
and sat at the table to eat it.
Novak must have been woken up by the smell of day old pizza, either that or by the
sound of the bottle being opened, because a few seconds later he had joined Bam at the table with his own bottle of beer and
The two of them sat silently next to each other for a few minutes. Novak looked over and began to
“Jeeze, you seem depressed.”
“No I’m just tired.” Bam lied
ok. Then you’ve been “tired” for a while now.”
“What are you getting at, Novak?”
He snapped half heartedly.
Novak couldn’t stand knowing that Bam was going
around depressed. He wanted to somehow cheer him up, but wasn’t sure how to go about doing it.
The more he saw
him this way, and knowing that he was hurting even though he was trying to deny it, the more he felt bad for him. All he wanted
was to see him happy again. There was no reason why he should be feeling this way.
Novak placed an arm around Bam’s
shoulders and gently rubbed his arm.
“You know, just because I’m a guy, doesn’t mean you have to
hide your feelings from me. You’re my best friend, Bam, and I want you to know that you can talk to me.”
is this touchy-feely therapist thing over?”
He retracted his arm.
“Yeah ok I’m sorry. I’m
only trying to cheer you up any way I know how.”
“Thanks anyway, Novak.”
“What?” Bam asked as he looked up at him
Novak looked into Bam’s eyes.
know what to say, or even what he was going to do, he just knew that he had to do something. He moved in closer to Bam, and
before either of them realized it, their lips touched. Bam pulled away from Novak, staring at him with a mixture of emotions
in his eyes.
“Why’d you kiss me?”
“I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Like I said, I’m only trying to cheer you up any way I know how.”
that supposed to cheer me up?”
“I… I don’t know. Maybe we could laugh about it later.”
“Just leave me alone.”
Bam stood up and headed upstairs to his bedroom. A few minutes later Bam
sat on the edge of his bed crying.
“Why did he have to kiss me? Man I’m confused enough about myself as
it is, I don’t need him making it worse by kissing me! Does this mean that he’s gay, am I gay? What? I wish I
could figure this out.”
He tried to wipe some tears off of his face as more fell.
“God what is
wrong with me? Why can’t I… why can’t you at least help make things more clear for me? “
asked while turning his eyes up toward the ceiling. He then turned his head down and covered his eyes with his hand.
came a knock on the door and Bam lifted his head up toward it while wiping tears away.
“Go away Novak. You’re
the last person I need to see right now.”
“Ok, sorry.” Novak said softly before turning away from
He paused in his spot and looked at the closed door once he heard Bam’s soft whimpers from inside
the room. Then he walked partway down the steps and then sat down.
“Oh God. I made him cry. This is bad…
I didn’t mean for this to happen. Now he’s freaking out and it’s all my fault. Why’d I have to kiss
him? I’m such a fucking moron.”